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I don’t have a definitive starting point, but I’ve loved writing for over ten years now. In middle school, my sixth grade best friend and I would write letters to each other describing our hilarious experiences. Then in high school I wrote even more. Another best friend of mine and I would exchange short stories - always ludicrous and loosely based on true events, and when I say loose, I mean there was one or two threads out of a two hundred thread count bed sheet holding our stories to reality. We were like outsiders peering through a window at a family dinner for 30 seconds, and based on that, would create the most bizarre and hilarious story we could think of that aligned with those 30 seconds. While it was typically a careless and exciting hobby, the stories I wrote on my own leaned towards a darker angle. This was how I used writing to help calm my inner world while trying to understand the outer world.
Growing up and being the middle child, you learn to be compliant with a lot of things. “Don’t rock the boat,” was the mantra of my family, so I learned to be a people-pleaser. We get a bad rap for being doormats. …And while that may actually be true, we like to make things a little more light-hearted for you, to give a listening ear, and to be a generally low maintenance person in your life.
The problem we run into though is that amidst all the sacrifice, we forget what we actually want out of our relationships, our jobs, our life.
We want you to feel valued and heard, so we’re typically easy to please and we don’t mind sacrificing a little, or a lot, in the name of helping you feel the way we’ve always wanted. The problem we run into though is that amidst all the sacrifice, we forget what we actually want out of our relationships, our jobs, our life.
Even now, with years of practice that only truly began in my twenties, acknowledging my grief or anger takes weeks sometimes - months or years even. Strong negative emotions find their way out though. They can only be bottled in for so long.
Usually through explosive bouts of anger, which only validates our discomfort for negative emotions, do they find a clear path out. However, if you’re reading this and identify with this particular struggle, you know there are healthier outlets to take.
One of mine is writing.