Honesty

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I miss him the way you miss guidance and stability. I learned that I could fail and it would be safe. I wasn’t viewed differently when I failed or when I shared my vulnerabilities. He was okay to share with and it’s rarely okay to share with anyone. 

I’m trying to be honest with myself (and you, Reader) about this and frankly, it’s uncomfortable. I don’t like writing about him because I want to avoid honesty. You see, I don’t fully understand, and when I don’t understand, I’m afraid of when I do. I assume it’ll be wrong or bad even if it isn’t.

I feel as if I’m irreparably exposing myself admitting to any of this.

Love. It shouldn’t be this hard to admit to yourself that you love someone.