Deeply Known
As I was driving to church on June 1, 2019, I distinctly remember asking God that I be seen in my relationships. I, like all of us, want to be seen and known in my circle. I started setting boundaries in some of my relationships around this time, and depending on the level of toxicity, setting boundaries meant a lot less quality time spent with those individuals if any.
The thing is, sometimes we need to go through processes of emptying because we’ve filled our hearts, mind, and life with crud. Like a good Dad, God will bring you into a season of emptying the crud to refill you with Goodness. However, the emptying process is tough. It can be lonely at times. My already not-so-active social life virtually halted, and I felt very unsettled in this new season. I recognized that God was emptying out the crud, but the symptoms of that unhealthiness were still there. I was struggling to find my voice and know my worth. I longed for an authentic, life-giving community but I didn’t really know where to find it because I had to start from scratch (and I don’t like starting from scratch).
It wasn’t a magical or powerful prayer in any way, just a simple longing from my heart.
So I prayed to be seen. It wasn’t a magical or powerful prayer in any way, just a simple longing from my heart. At the end of the church service that day, the prophetic team went up to give some words of encouragement to various people at the service.
Before I continue, I have to address this: the gift of prophecy tends to get a bad rap. It’s often portrayed as an ominous omen, but in actuality, it’s just a word from God that someone else is giving to you. Typically, it’s meant to encourage or affirm you in some way and it will always theologically line up with the Bible. If someone “prophecies” something over you that’s theological/biblical garbage, it’s not from God. (Yeah, it’s that simple.)
When they came up, I had a “spiritual hunch” that I would be given a word. I even wrote in my journal before they started to document to myself that I was right.
I’d literally prayed that morning to be seen by man, and God went one better to confirm that he sees me. I knew he did, but to hear someone else say it is a beautiful experience.
I was the second person called. To give you a quick summary, the first guy said he felt as if God was restoring the image I have of myself and of God (yup). Then the lead pastor followed up and said, “And I just heard from that: you’re seen.” (Commence the tears) “God sees you. I feel like he’s meeting you in the depths of who you are, and I feel like in this season he’s gone really deep and he’s meeting you in those tough places ...” At this point, I was just trying to hear what he said behind the crying. Let me tell you, it’s embarrassing to be crying in front of a whole group of people whose church you just started attending, but I didn’t even care about that because they were so on point with where to pluck those heartstrings.
I’d literally prayed that morning to be seen by man, and God went one better to confirm that he sees me. To an extent, I knew he did, but to hear someone else say it is a beautiful experience. Two more people said they had a word to give me and it was equally on point. They touched on aspects of my identity and relationship with God that confirmed what I knew he was teaching me. I was elated. I left the church and took a walk around a couple of blocks, just to spend some time more time in prayer. I didn’t want to stop there so I drove around for another hour or two, not wanting to leave the atmosphere of communion with Dad.
He doesn’t always answer our prayers so instantaneously, but I’ll bet you that if at any point you listen close enough, you’ll hear him tell you how deeply he loves you.
“What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by an amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow he has made. How then could he forget or abandon you? What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world.”
Luke 12:6-7